Help Your Child Overcome

Sexual Abuse and Teenage Rebellion 

                                with Guidance from Our Parents' Handbook

Learn how to become a better parent with the help of Kalyn's Secret. This eye-opening book details every parent's battle to save his or her children. Our parents' handbook, written by a mother-daughter team, offers hands-on information you need when your child is going through a time of crisis. It provides practical information and step-by-step guides on how to work with your teenagers and get them the help they need to heal. Help your child overcome sexual abuse or teenage rebellion with advice from our authors in Carbondale, Illinois.

"Kalyn's Secret"

Every Parent's Battle to Save Their Children

By Lisa and Kalyn Cherry

   Introduction: Powering Up for the Journey

When my two oldest children, Nathan and Kalyn, were preschoolers, I (Lisa) remember believing what I had always heard. I thought my most intense years of mothering were nearing an end and a new, less demanding era was dawning. After all, diaper messes, milk spills, and toddler fusses require countless hours of hard work and effort. Surely as those babies grew into childhood and then into adolescence, they would be able to manage quite well without as much mothering input. That would leave me adequate time to pursue my own career and personal interests. Makes sense.
 
Why is it that no one warned me about the absurdity of my notions? Or did they, and I just didn't believe it? I guess when I formed my plans I hadn't calculated in the massive, intense warfare that is being waged against this teenage generation and their future. I underestimated the strategic cunning of the spiritual forces of darkness to develop fortresses in our homes. Oh, my husband, Doug, and I were aware of the battle. We had taken what we thought were radical measures to insure our escape from its effects. We had sheltered our children from the cultural onslaught and trained them to stand for God. We, as a family, were close, strong, and passionate in service to our King. So what happened to my daughter Kalyn should not have happened—but it did.

When Kalyn was 15 years old, we discovered that she had been subtly drawn into a sexually abusive relationship with one of our male parishioners who was three decades older than her, and it had been going on for over a year. Suddenly our world was turned upside down as the enemy launched his masterful sneak attack against our family in our own living room the day we learned of Kalyn's "secret." Our lives were shaken to the core and as a family we would never be the same again. That day rocked our very souls as we watched our high-achieving, mature, Christian daughter instantly transformed into a depressed, angry, defiant, rebellious, (and soon after) self-mutilating, suicidal teenager.

I was not prepared in the natural for what had come against Kalyn or the aftermath of the intense battle that raged against our family. Yet I am so grateful to all who had discipled and prepared us to face our opponent in the power of Jesus Christ. So many parents are under-prepared (spiritually and naturally) for their day of attack, whether it comes by sexual abuse, drugs, or other surprise tactics the enemy uses against unsuspecting, unaware families. Kalyn and I hope to change that through our story.

What special insights can an ordinary Midwestern pastor's family offer to other families at war? Mostly this—we have been to the foxhole and have come back victorious. What we knew before our attack was vital to our daughter's miracle. What we learned during and after our attack has compelled us to write this book to serve two main purposes: to be a signal flare to warn other families, and a boot camp training manual to help them understand the times and know how to safely navigate what can quickly become turbulent waters during the journey through adolescence.

We'll be revealing important practical and scriptural keys to rescuing or keeping this generation from disaster, while candidly telling of our own intense personal crisis. By openly sharing our weaknesses as well as our strengths, our failures as well as our victories, we want to expose the deeds of darkness while we awaken and equip you as a parent (or grandparent or legal guardian) to aggressively defend your home from darkness and offensively advance God's plans for your family.
 
At no other season of my children's lives have I been called on to live in such unlikely extremes of balance—relevant, yet not trendy; playful, yet not childish; wise, yet not antiquated; and flexible, yet not indecisive—as during the journey through adolescence. Good thing I had a few years to grow up myself before I stepped into this job. I figure with another decade of experience, I might have the required balancing act mastered! I suppose that's why the adolescent parenting sections of bookstores are overflowing with manuals to assist the flustered parent.

This season of parenthood is so challenging because adolescents themselves are so challenged. Some days their lives make no sense, even to them: one moment they're mature and levelheaded; the next it seems as if they've reverted back to a toddler in their decision-making. Moreover, the average teen doesn't enjoy living like most of the rest of the world. They are looking for that "new" or "cool" place where they can "do it my way." Thus, we stand by as our own child changes before our very eyes.

While the outward physical changes are obvious and pronounced, the inward changes are perhaps even more spectacular and mysterious. So, here's the radical new conclusion that I've drawn about the parenting career: Don't expect to power down as you round into this journey through adolescence. Be prepared to power up! And fasten your seat belt. You're in for an adventurous ride!

I pray that, like us, once you grab hold of the truths in this book, never again will you underestimate the strength of our opponent or pridefully believe that you've "done it all" to protect your children. And never again will you doubt the miracle-working power of our Captain (Heb. 2:10) and King to bring beauty for ashes, joy for mourning, and victory for defeat. You'll know how to keep your children Safe in His Hands.